Spiritual Medium

Use of digital recorder is an inexpensive way to capture EVPs.

I’ve had lots of things going on in my house for 18 years.  Since we moved back in after our fire, on and off for 5 years now, we’ll smell toast.  Sometimes accompanied with butter, jelly, or even tuna.  My daughter and I affectingly refer to him as “toast man”.  This particular night, my cousin, daughter and I smelled it accompanied by cold spots.  After we explained we sometimes smell tuna to my cousin, the tuna smell came.  We all smelled it.  I then ran to grab my digital recorder.  Listening to it straight of the recorder, it sounded like a distant sigh.  Listening to it louder on the computer is a different story.   We captured a couple of EVPs in an hours time.  The following was the most unmistakable, easiest to hear….    This is a very non threatening spirit, but hearing it for the first time, still gave me a slight chill.

Because I can’t afford totally fancy programming, I had to record the sound separate from the video (used a free program) and splice back together to have the sound with the visual, near the end it’s a little “off”, but it is the actual recording from my house.

What do you think it’s saying?

Spirits can contact us in many different obscure ways, complex equipment isn’t always necessary. Solid sound, touch, feelings. Simple electronics such as Via EVP upon play back of tape on a recorder (or digital these days), behind white noise which I’ve yet to experience, and yes, even an $11.99 touch lamp.

I’d received word a former co-worker had passed away the night before.  She’d been living with a heart problem for years.  We hadn’t worked together for about 2 years, but kept in touch on and off. We coincidentally shared an interest in spirits, the after life and the great beyond.  She too had a gift.  Beth could see auras and possessed mediumship abilities.  We would have dreams the same night, where her’s would continue from the dream I had, or mine continue from her’s.  It was actually quite cool.  We’d learn later, these dreams turned out to be a warning of sorts of things to come. 

I had not seen her for nearly 2 years when I got word that she had passed away only hours before.  I sadly informed my daughter as she was fond of “Ms. Beth”, and Beth was very fond of her since she was in kindergarten.   That night, I was sitting with my daughter in her room.  The touch lamp on her night stand went off by itself. From the light of the tv I could see the silhouette of my daughter staring back at me in surprise with her mouth hanging open. (In the past we had extremely heavy activity in our house, I won’t get into it now, but it included 3 touch lamps in our house when activity would get heavy. However at this point it had been a good year or more since then.)   I told her to turn it back on.  She did.  30 seconds later it went off again.  My daughter got really nervous.  I told her “don’t worry, it’s ok. Turn it back on, I wonder if it’s Ms. Beth saying hello and she’s ok and she’s just getting our attention.”  It went off again.  This time I told her “wait, leave it.”  5-10 seconds it came back on dim.  We both smiled and I said I do think it’s her.   I said “Beth, if it’s you doing this with the light, do it again, only this time, tap it once or twice to make it brighter.  If you are NOT Beth, tap it 3 times to turn it off.”  About 15 seconds passed.  Then the room got heavy, like a pressure a slight vibration accompanied it, then a low humm buzz kind of noise kicked in, and the lamp went one brighter, then 3 seconds later the hum came again and the lamp went to the brightest setting.  There it stopped.  I told my daughter with much enthusiasm, “It IS Ms. Beth!  She’s ok!”  I then told Beth I was sorry for her family that she left that still needed her, but they know better then anyone that she would be around them.  I thank her for everything and thanked her for proving more proof that life goes on after our physical bodies pass.  I told her she’s welcome to come back and visit me any time.  I could feel her wisk off.   The lamp didn’t do anything else that night or for a few months.  Beth came back shortly after that to tell me how strange it really is attending your own funeral service, but that it’s kinda cool.  It hurts to see everyone you love in pain, but she enjoyed listening in on the things others had to say about her.  She seemed excited about being on the other end of mediumship.

Beth was able to communicate with us through a simple touch lamp, something easily manipulated though energies.  She knows, I have my own personal mortality fears, and felt it important I know she was still about.  I’m grateful she took the time to visit.  Fancy gadgets are cool, but not always necessary.  A simple, cheap touch lamp can alert you to a spirit visitor.

Spirits can orchestrate or manipulate situations to have an outcome for us that can make us take notice or open our eyes to an opportunity we may have otherwise missed or ignored. It’s all around us. You only need to recognize it.

Is Saint Nicholas real? What about Santa Clause? Over many years these two have been blurred together. Santa Clause is an idea. Dare I say, propaganda. St. Nicholas however, was an actual person who truly performed charitable deeds and was granted sainthood. He is still in existence as spirit just as we one day will. I use the word spirit as living entity. Not merely an ideal in one’s heart.

My daughter is a kindhearted, intelligent child. When she obtained a certain age she began questioning Santa Clause. I didn’t want to be untruthful, misinform, nor did I want to damage the enchantment of this supernatural entity. There is actually a truthful balance to this mystical being. He undeniably lived on this Earth; Yet continues to be present as a spirit entity. Spirits, guides, angels, all (with the help or approval of God) can orchestrate events or a simple moment which can lead us to where we should be or assist in what we need to accomplish. I explained to her St. Nicholas was indeed authentic, and gave a brief synopsis of his selfless achievement.

A seemingly simple, yet fantastic example of spirit orchestration was one of the impossible items my daughter had on her Christmas list. A Criss Angel doll. It didn’t exist. In wanting to preserve the enchantment, I set out on a quest that lead me to Magical Dolls almost effortlessly. Hmmmmm. Magical. I found it takes months to special order one of these amazingly realistic dolls. However upon contacting the Artist “something” inspired this wonderful, personable, caring woman to not only take on the job with only 2 weeks left on the clock, but to enhance the awe for a child by sending a handwritten note from “Elf Brigitte” on the most beautifully hand sketched angelic type fairy stationary. Something lead me to Magical Dolls. Something inspired Brigitte to go out of her way, take my daughter’s impossible wish and turn it into charming reality. Something. Something I give credit to not only her kind heart, but to spirit for leading me to her. Yes Sarah, there is a St. Nicholas. He lives in the hearts of everyone who helps others. He inspires them.

My daughter continues to question me each year. Her lists are always very short, but they began innocently containing at least one item she would dream up that didn’t exist. And thus began the series of “tests”. “It doesn’t exist, but SANTA can make it. Can’t he?” That item of course would be at the top of the list.

This past Christmas List, had something on it. Something ever so simple. Simple, yet completely out of human hands… Snow. She longed for oodles of snow at home. Enough to snowmobile on. She had taken and passed her safety class which would allow her to drive one, even though we had not had enough snow in years passed, nor enough money to take a trip. There was no choice but to place that request in the hands of God and his helpers. She wanted snow so badly even if it wasn’t enough to snowmobile on, she at least was hoping for a White Christmas instead of the muddy ones we’d been getting.

Miraculously, just before Christmas, we - were - dumped - on - with - snow! More then enough! Not only did she get her White Christmas, the snow stayed in tact and she was able to snowmobile. TWICE (so far). This was something money truly couldn’t buy.

A hope and a wish in one’s heart. A seemingly impossible mission, became exonerate reality. An unachievable event, materialized.

Faith, hope and dreams. Enchanted mysticism restored. Doubt erased. In her heart and in MINE.

Yes Sarah, there really IS a St. Nicholas. He can orchestrate events, just as other spirits can.

WHY do bad things happen?

Is it to punish us for something we did? 

I believe there are two main reasons bad things happen.  One is to teach us a lesson we need to learn before returning to our creator.  The other is free will given to each soul on earth.

God does not “punish” us. Meaning, He doesn’t “get even” with us for something bad or mischievous we may have done. For instance, I had a mean thought pertaining to my mother today, so now I went and had a car accident.  I don’t believe it works quite like that.   Sometimes bad things happen because of free will, where someone else causes something destructive to happen directly related to a choice of action they made. Sometimes, a seemingly negative thing happens because, He is giving us the opportunity to learn what we need to learn. Just like a mom has to let her toddler learn to walk. That toddler will fall many times before being able to do it well on her own. But mom stands there with her arms near that toddler in case she falls, so the fall won’t hurt quite as much. But the fall has to happen, till you learn. Sometimes God has to let us fall down and scrape our knees to learn a lesson. But he is right there to pick us up when we need support.

Sometimes, you need to look deeper into how your prayer was answered.

If you pray for more patients, he will present to you an opportunity to BE patient.

I guess sometimes this is when one could say, be careful what you wish for.

You need to look past the bad not only for what you can learn, but ask what good actually came of it? 

An example of this is… One day I was at my wits end.  I was working to begin a new career, after coming from a mass layoff.  We were in financial turmoil having trouble paying even the smallest of bills and I was desperately trying to make our mortgage payments.  I was, staring at the bills sprawled out on the floor among the bill collection notices (from when my husband was in the hospital succumbing to an infection that spread throughout his body) none of these bills were credit card bills (we don’t use them). So there I was, staring at these bills that had been taunting us for a couple of years, wondering which ones I would sacrifice this month and not pay.  Tears began streaming. I collapsed to my knees begging for God to help us.  Relentlessly begging over and over for resolution to this crisis. 

I finally pulled myself together, and began the day like the rest of my days.  From having a cup of coffee to getting my 6 year old ready for kindergarten and driving her to school.  To my complete dismay, I returned home 15 minutes later to my house burning down!  Guess I don’t have to stare at THAT stack of bills anymore. (I did go partially in to rescue my daughter’s birthday puppy. Stupid, but I did. One cat made it, but the other perished .)  Lucky that my daughter, husband or myself weren’t in the house sleeping!  That’s when I realized how important family really is.  Love over any possession.   I always knew it.  But this was the first time I can recall of FEELING it.

So I learned

1: Don’t drive your kids to school in your pajamas (especially on a 10 F degree day)

2: Be careful what you wish for

3: Love & Family (along with God) above all else is most important. Material things mean nothing.

We developed a close bond as a family following that fire. A couple of years goes by, and that bond starts to drift.  I began wishing we could have that closeness again.  And wondering how I can re create that.  Wondering.  But not Doing.

Now, going through cancer, I’m learning, not only to appreciate my family, but to TELL them how much I appreciate them and love them.

Why do bad things happen?  Sometimes we ask for help and receive it in mysterious ways. But need to learn to recognize it.  Sometimes, we go through life with blinders on and the “bad thing” is a message from our own burning bush loud enough for us to hear, a wake up call to take notice of a lesson we need to learn.  Sometimes bad things happen to someone, for someone else to be affected by it and learn.

Through out this cancer ordeal, believe it or not, I have NEVER ONCE asked “WHY ME”. Instead, I’ve been praying my butt off that I, and anyone around me, is learning exactly what I (we) are supposed to be learning. (Perhaps in hopes that the cancer will be over and done and I won’t have to deal with it or worry about it ever again.)

Even though some people hate hearing it, there is a reason for nearly everything.

Written 3/1708 – updated 11/30/08

I was back at my childhood home where my mother and I lead a mostly unhappy existence of physical and mental abuse from my stepfather. I didn’t understand why I’d be here of all places I could be, but I was sitting outside with my dog Pepper, by his dog house, who had passed at the age of 18 four years earlier. I felt guilt that maybe I didn’t treat my dog right as a teenager in my own apartment. I could have been a better pet owner. I did carry this 90 lbs. dog up and down 2 flights of stairs when he couldn’t walk, and held him steady as he tried to do his business. Maybe I could have taken him more places during his life. Maybe I could have let him out more often. Yet here he was with me seemingly happy to see me, tail wagging. I was cheerful as well. Then slowly, like a movie fading in to a new scene, my Grandfather appeared to my right. Slightly surprised to see him I said, “you can’t be here, you’re dead.” Very sure of himself, he matter of factly shook his head “no” he was not dead. He sat beside me, then fell back as if he was dying all over again right in front of me. Of course, I was overcome with devastation and sadness once more. Then he sat up, smiled, and took me by the hand. He looked up and I looked where he was looking. Above us was pitch black sky with brilliantly colored stars and planets. What appeared to be a green laser like grid became visible. Was this some sort of “map” he was showing me? Ahhh, yes. It was. He took my hand and I became weightless, soaring into the cosmos, faster then anything I’d ever seen even on SciFi TV. We traveled at such a speed the stars became blurred streams of light and gave the impression of changing into tunnels. He slowed down slightly a couple of times glimpsing at various spectacular clusters of colors and light, as if showing me points on the map. Well, I’ll be… He was giving directions. Ultimately we seemingly arrived at our destination. It was filled with fields of tall green grasses, trees, bright aromatic flowers, and small fresh lakes. I drank it all in. The smells of brisk clean water. The true scent of what fresh “green” genuinely smells like. The way the warmth of the light penetrated to my core. The instant feeling of complete comfort and total bliss. No hustle and bustle. Just being. Grandpa showed me there were separate houses, though so far apart you couldn’t see more then one at a time no matter how high up you were viewing from. Each had it’s own driveway but there were no roads. I had instant knowledge souls easily traveled between locations by mere thought. He looked at me and smiled. In that instant, I knew where we were. I knew what this was. This was it. This was a piece of Heaven. The real deal. He IS alive, and this is where he is.

The trip there was time consuming, and one of which the sharp details I will never forget. I stayed for what seemed like an entire day but receiving a great deal information, instantaneously. Complete harmony. Almost paradise.

Just when I felt comfortable here, it was quite evident it was time to leave as I was whisked away swiftly. The return voyage was more rapid. Everything flew past me in a rewind of sorts. I woke abruptly, almost breathless, slamming back into my body. I possessed conflicting emotions all at once, sad to leave, happy to see him, content knowing it’s fantastic there, confusion, a knowledge and an understanding like I’ve never had before. I was honored he shared this with me. The exciting feelings still linger in me today. It was the most vivid experience I’d ever have. More vivid then me sitting here now.

This was such an intense, insightful, profound experience, it motivated me to continue my journey, learn about spirits, guides, grow my faith and ultimately the desire to share with others that the buck doesn’t stop here, through proof of their own loved ones that have passed on through mediumship.

I knew there were different levels of Heaven, but I never understood quite how it all worked, until recently. Which I will share soon.

Dreams.  

Real or just a mind release?

Some dreams are just that. Dreams. A release of the mind. Some dreams have meaning. Not all dreams have a secret deep meaning. Some are not meant to be directed but are the mind unwinding. Some hold meaning for someone else and not ourselves. I’ve had horrific nightmares (that later came back as happening to someone somewhere else and I later heard about it the news days later)

But some dreams are pretty damn straight forward. Especially when they are in fact an astral trip or a visit.

What is an astral trip? It is the most of vivid dreams you can have. Good trips leave you feeling quite content, and at times well rested even though you were out gallivanting all night.

I didn’t know it till I was much older, but I’ve had a couple astral trips since I was little. The one I remember best, like it was yesterday, is a more recent one from 1994.

My grandfather was a man anyone would be happy to call Grandpa. He was strong and very wise. He was proud of each and every child in his family no matter how much of a screw up we might have become. His home was always open. In fact, when any of his own children or grand children felt it necessary to “leave home” or needed a place to stay, we knew we could stay at his house. His heart was huge and his arms were open. Always. And we all took our turns living there briefly. He was the glue that held our extended family together. Sure, he’d yell at ya if your shoes got too close to the couch to get them off the damn couch. But he also welcomed us kids by tossing us up in the air toward the ceiling. He always caught us. I grew up in his house from the time I was a year old till my mother re-married and I was 7. I was back again when I left the house of my unbearably abusive step father at 17. You could talk to this man about anything. Love, life, religion (his faith was strong), ghosts, anything. Some times his humor would take us by surprise. Like the time he made fun of my mom going for a manicure. He came running out of his bedroom with his nails painted fire engine red and said “See? I did that for .50 cents!”

He was the most important male figure in my life. So it was no surprise that he would walk me down the isle when I got married in May of ’93. I was actually the first one he had walked down the isle. You could see on his face how honored he was to do this important job. His daughters didn’t get married with the typical conventional church ceremony. I was the first grand child. And his first (and only) marriage give away.

We danced what is normally the Father Daughter dance at my reception. I picked “Grandpa” by The Judds. Our entire family formed a chained circle around us. There wasn’t a dry eye in the place. Everyone there loved him so. He did other things behind the scenes to make my wedding special. a few months later, he passed suddenly on New Year’s Eve of a heart attack at 73. I was overwhelmed with great loss. Everyone in our family and extended family was devastated. He helped every single one in our family in some way or another. Whether it be deep conversation, a pat on the back or a ride somewhere. He held great pride for everyone in his family. He was in excellent health (just like Mr. Clean all the way. White T-shirt, bald & muscles, he exercised and pumped iron daily.) Yet he was a very humble man as well.

He always fed his mind and “Never Stop Learning” is just one thing I learned from him along with unconditional love and devotion.

We all felt a great loss. But we never really lost him.

Shortly after his death (a couple months), he came to me in a dream. It wasn’t just any dream. Beyond profound. He took me on an astral trip and showed me heaven. Showed me how to get there, and where I may live one day. It was more vivid and clear then any “real” feelings or things we experience here on earth.

He shared his love and wisdom when he was in his earthly body, and even after his death, he shared his compassion and knowledge.

I woke with so many emotions, sad, happy, content, confused, knowledge, and an understanding like I’ve never had before. Mostly honored he shared this with me.

The journey with Grandpa is in the next post.

Share your vivid astral/dreams with me.

With an ear toward those that have moved on before us….

My faith is strengthened through each meditation and sitting because I know without a doubt there is a heaven.  A glorious higher place we graduate to where we continue to learn and grow.

Which recently, means even more to me then it has in the past. Ever since I was diagnosed with an aggressive Advanced Invasive Breast Cancer (which I continue to cronical here…) Some sittings bring on silly surprises.  But EVERY sitting leaves me feeling whole with validation.

I’m a regular woman, with a somewhat normal family & life. Yes, we argue.  No my house isn’t always clean.  I believe in honesty, although I don’t always offer information to my husband about every little item I’ve purchased on a shopping trip.  I’ve had experiences that some people consider extraordinary.  The only thing UN regular about me is the fact that I do sittings for others.

Visit my site and request a free sitting.  mediumintraining.com

You know how you out of the blue start humming a tune even though you haven’t heard it in ages… but then…..  that same day you hear that song on the radio, maybe even on a station you never listened to before?  Were you mentally asking a question before you were humming that tune?  Simply hearing that song, could quite possibly be your answer from the “cosmos”.

I’ve heard, as an aid to be successful in getting what you want, is to make a list of your desires/needs and post them on the fridge or another spot where you will see it every day.  Eventually it will come true.  I imagine just by seeing it daily, it becomes imprinted into your brain like, a washing, that you are more open to opportunity when it knocks or begin seeking out ways to make it happen without really realizing you are doing it.

Yesterday I thought I might try that.  I was making mental notes of hopes of what I want to be or improve about myself or my life.

A short time later I was praying and asked if what I want to do is the right thing to do, because I want to help.  I I asked for a sign to tell me “this is right” or it is “ok to do it”.

While jotting down ideas for a job, the song “Fight The Good Fight” by Triumph came into my mind.  Playing over in my head about 5 times or so.  I went on with the rest of my morning and headed off to radiation.

I normally listen to one of 2 radio stations or my own cd… today I was flipping through stations & just stopped on one.  Not paying attention to what was on I just stopped changing stations.  I was in the middle of deep thought.  After a brief moment I took note of what was on the radio…

“Fight the good fight”.  My mouth dropped and I thought to myself.  Is this my sign I asked for?  Could it really be?  Then on the radio I heard came “Dream Weaver”   - “fly me high above the starry sky, lead me to an astral plain” (which ties directly into an astral dream I had with my deceased grandfather).  I got goose bumps.  Hmmmm. I think this IS my sign.

The mental notes I was asking for were:

1. be a more loving & supportive wife (like I used to be)
2. spend more quality time with my daughter
3. to be a better medium helping people connect to loved ones & begin their healing process and prove there is a god & a great place we all go to on a larger scale.  See what I do here… mediumintraining.com

I’d love to hear your story.

During a meditation in 2006, I received some very unsettling words.  Words like, disease, two years, get healthy now.  I asked if I’d be around to see my daughter get married, and received back a “No”, which I promptly ignored.  I blew off these words as mind clutter and my own fears. Can’t happen to me. I been through enough already.  Little did I know, these words would come back and bite me right in the ass.

I knew at the end of Summer ’07 “something wasn’t right”. I could just FEEL it. I had a conversation with my mother, and near the end of it, I was in tears (and I don’t cry easily).  I refused to let the conversation come to a close with out her telling me that should something ever happen to me, she would take care of my family, putting my young daughter first. Which she reluctantly made.  Reluctantly, because no mother wants her child to be sick.

I made an appointment with my doctor for a routine exam & informed her of my newer ‘problems’. I needed further examination. I waited till the first of the new year for the surgery because I knew this would be BIG and we were getting much better insurance coverage the 1st of the year. Couple days before my “basement surgery” to remove a large polyp in January ’08, I had my mammogram at the same time as my blood tests for surgery. Which was an amazing celestial orchestration in itself.  I didn’t have an appointment, and they were currently out about 4 weeks or better, but the powers that be got me in for that mammogram that very day I was there.  “Something” prompted all the people involved to squeeze me in when normally they wouldn’t do that.  They even told me they don’t usually do that; But something encouraged them to do so.

The next day while healing from my surgery, I received a certified letter from the hospital that my mammogram had issues. (I’m not surprised. That was really the reason I wanted that appointment in the first place.) So back I went for a Needle Core Biopsy of the micro calcifications. One of the worst procedures I’ve ever had (and I’ve had my share of needle pokes and surgeries). I wouldn’t wish it on my enemy (Actually, I hope I don’t have any of those). They just kept telling me, “I know it’s uncomfortable, just hang in there”. Uncomfortable my ass. Later, I’d find out WHY it was so horrible….. For one, it felt like they were sucking all the veins out of my arm, back and chest through their quite large needle. I’m not sure what 10 gauge is, but it sure looked awful big to be sticking in someone that was awake. Later I discovered, it sent me through the roof because, they had traveled with the needle and suction way beyond the area they numbed. This was cold turkey surgery. I didn’t get any whisky or leather to bite on! (I know this because I later had another procedure done elsewhere and didn’t feel much. Because they kept NUMBING THE TISSUE deeper and deeper as far as they needed to get.) So if you or anyone you know needs to have a core biopsy, tell them, it’s YOUR BODY! TELL THEM TO STOP and NUMB IT DEEPER if you are feeling it!

In any event, a few days later, my doctor called me and said “you have nothing to worry about. It’s only PRE cancer. NOT cancer. Make an appointment in a week or two.” She stressed the words PRE and NOT.  The following week I go in and she tells me, make an appointment with a surgeon and she’ll remove the rest of that spot that the biopsy didn’t get. Hmmmm – I request a copy of my pathology report and take it home. I start researching the terminology on it. Especially the second page, of which the secretary never gave to the doctor … and found out… this isn’t PRE cancer. This IS CANCER. And the worst of this kind as far as grade and aggressiveness. After one mess up after another from the secretary / hospital etc… I decided to not mess around and go to the best hospital I could…

…Where, they moved at quite the pace to figure out exactly what is going on. Yes, it is breast cancer. Ductal Carcinoma In Situ = DCIS. High Grade Carcinoma / Comedo type.  what else? It’s all over the lymph nodes too. Had my surgery to remove the DCIS and she took out the lymph nodes under my arm. They don’t look good.

…..

Which brings us to today. I’m still sitting here with a drainage tube. I’m not sure if the pain is getting any less, or if I’m getting used to it.

Oh, and I failed to mention, my husband’s place of business is shutting down. He’s out of a job and we’ll be out of insurance quite soon. The office seems to still all be in tact…. Funny, along comes the good insurance after all these years of crappy insurance… and now we only get 4 months to use it. That seems a bit premeditated. Or is it just me? Yes, COBRA is a great policy, but when you struggle as it is, can barely pay your mortgage (when you are half done paying the loan off) $1,300 a month for family insurance coverage, isn’t even a possibility.

Through all of this, the hospital I’m traveling to has been absolutely fantastic. They are moving fast as possible to get me where I need to be, before the shit hits the fan in our wallets.

And I keep thinking, had I not gone to this other hospital… the one near my home would have taken out the rest of the first tumor. Never seeing everything else going on in my body. I could have passed on by this summer.

Considering my first doctor said “ONLY pre-cancer” and nothing to worry about in the first doctor’s eyes, Perhaps I should look into my “over active cells” comment my initial doctor made about my basement surgery pathology report in January. . Wonder how many pages were missing from that report…..

Research Hospitals and always, ALWAYS, get a second opinion!!!

The original words from my meditation came flooding back.  I franticly searched for my notes.  I found them.  I did in fact receive a warning.  Disease (cancer) two years (2006 warning, diagnosed in 2008), get healthy now…. Is still open to interpretation.  Perhaps this means if I do all that I can, I will still hang around here a while yet.  Sometimes you must rely on God.  Sometimes you have to exercise the free will he gave us.  I’m going to do both.  And what about the unseen celestial forces that orchestrated an appointment for me out of seemingly thin air?  If I had not gotten that appointment, what would have happened?  Perhaps that goes back to “get healthy now”. Had I had to wait, how long would I have put it off?  It most certainly would have been an even worse scenario.