Spiritual Medium

There is music out there to accommodate every mood I have.  When I’m going on a long drive in the beautiful country, Sweet Melissa and Jessica from The Allman Brothers Band starts out the trip nicely.  Sometimes Sweet Baby James, Shower The People or Mexico from James Taylor is a nice enhancer to a happy feeling of wanting to run through a field of daisies in the breeze of a warm summer day.   On rare occasions when I feel lonely, I’ll play “Man In the Wilderness” by Styx, shed my tears of woe and move on because I know Tommy Shaw certainly understands how I feel.  After all, he wrote the song.  It’s like crying to someone in your beer.  When I play the soundtrack to the movie “Practical Magic” I think about my soul sister and the strong bond we share.  She is always there for me.

The first time I heard “Never Again” by Nickelback I actually had a hard time with it.  Because it brought back floods of memories of my abusive childhood. I could completely identify with him. After listening to the entire album, sorry, compact disk,  I thought ‘damn that Chad Kroger had a really rough child hood.  I hope writing these songs was therapeutic for him.  It must have been.  The following CD’s had very different themes. 

Sometimes I use music to bring on a mood that I want to have.  There’s music that can bring you up or down, make you feel sexy or downright raunchy like a dog in heat.

When I have a call for energy because I feel like dancing around while doing the dishes, Cinderella, Tesla or Skid Row gives me that kick and does the trick quite nicely.

I use a nice guitar instrumental enhanced with pan flutes to assist in inducing relaxation before and during a meditation.  (I do meditative sittings.  See what I do here)  enter mediumintraining.com….

You’ve seen the commercial where the pretty brunette says “When you turn your car on, does it return the favor?”

Music is part of my soul.  It gets me going.  Enhances my moods.  It turns-me-on.

What music turns you on?

I do believe we get signs or messages in our dreams.  See why here…

There are those that can take ANY situation that occurs or any billboard and translate it into a booming message.  But there are times when you REALLY DO get a message.  You know when you can FEEL it is REALLY a sign from higher powers that be from above.  You “just know”. 

I’d like to share some of my stories, and I’d love to hear some of YOURS! 

Send me your story. 

E-mail your experience to me at Mediumintraining@aol.com

Shortly after I received what I feel to be a confirmation sign I asked for, I went to the grocery store.

I was feeling somewhat confident about my subtle sign, yet in my own little world & not feeling particularly pretty. I haven’t been out in public much since I started cancer treatments and lost my hair and my confidence has gone down. 

There was a man.  In the store.  I’d seen him before, but today he looked different.  A different air about him. His face seemed different.  Almost glowing.  I moved my cart in case I was in his way….He seemed almost angelic like. He approached a conversation by asking if he could complement me.  Taken off guard, I said “Ok, I’ll take a complement” waiting to hear what he would say about my undoubtedly messy wig (I am not brave enough to be ‘bald and beautiful’) or big ass because I really don’t consider myself a looker by any stretch of the imagination….  “You have beautiful eyes”.  I thanked him.  He said “you have REALLY beautiful eyes”  taken aback, not really knowing what to say to that a second time, I said “wow, thanks.  You should be around more often giving complements.”  And I immediately though, duh, that’s’ the best line I got? Then he asked if I was married.

All in the same one second while I answered Yes to the question if I was married, I had an apprehensive feeling.  Does he believe me that I’m married?  Because I was not wearing any jewelry or my wedding ring today (I take it off for radiation)  If he didn’t believe me, would he meet me in the parking lot, do unspeakable things before murdering me and stuffing me in a dumpster out back?  It’s really sad that people think this way.  But in this day and age, we hear daily of missing women and children, later found in horrible places, or never found at all.  I thought I’m using my credit card, at least they will have a way to trace where I was last and at what time.

He then said “tell your husband how truly lucky he is to have you.” (which has a special meaning to me considering the last couple conversations I’ve had with my husband).

Obviously I didn’t get stuffed into a dumpster, so I cling to my first initial feeling. 

I believe that man was inspired by something angelic, or his own beautiful inner spirit, to approach me and say something nice. 

It made my day.

How easy it is to say something nice to another.

It makes their day and costs us nothing.

You know how you out of the blue start humming a tune even though you haven’t heard it in ages… but then…..  that same day you hear that song on the radio, maybe even on a station you never listened to before?  Were you mentally asking a question before you were humming that tune?  Simply hearing that song, could quite possibly be your answer from the “cosmos”.

I’ve heard, as an aid to be successful in getting what you want, is to make a list of your desires/needs and post them on the fridge or another spot where you will see it every day.  Eventually it will come true.  I imagine just by seeing it daily, it becomes imprinted into your brain like, a washing, that you are more open to opportunity when it knocks or begin seeking out ways to make it happen without really realizing you are doing it.

Yesterday I thought I might try that.  I was making mental notes of hopes of what I want to be or improve about myself or my life.

A short time later I was praying and asked if what I want to do is the right thing to do, because I want to help.  I I asked for a sign to tell me “this is right” or it is “ok to do it”.

While jotting down ideas for a job, the song “Fight The Good Fight” by Triumph came into my mind.  Playing over in my head about 5 times or so.  I went on with the rest of my morning and headed off to radiation.

I normally listen to one of 2 radio stations or my own cd… today I was flipping through stations & just stopped on one.  Not paying attention to what was on I just stopped changing stations.  I was in the middle of deep thought.  After a brief moment I took note of what was on the radio…

“Fight the good fight”.  My mouth dropped and I thought to myself.  Is this my sign I asked for?  Could it really be?  Then on the radio I heard came “Dream Weaver”   - “fly me high above the starry sky, lead me to an astral plain” (which ties directly into an astral dream I had with my deceased grandfather).  I got goose bumps.  Hmmmm. I think this IS my sign.

The mental notes I was asking for were:

1. be a more loving & supportive wife (like I used to be)
2. spend more quality time with my daughter
3. to be a better medium helping people connect to loved ones & begin their healing process and prove there is a god & a great place we all go to on a larger scale.  See what I do here… mediumintraining.com

I’d love to hear your story.

During a meditation in 2006, I received some very unsettling words.  Words like, disease, two years, get healthy now.  I asked if I’d be around to see my daughter get married, and received back a “No”, which I promptly ignored.  I blew off these words as mind clutter and my own fears. Can’t happen to me. I been through enough already.  Little did I know, these words would come back and bite me right in the ass.

I knew at the end of Summer ’07 “something wasn’t right”. I could just FEEL it. I had a conversation with my mother, and near the end of it, I was in tears (and I don’t cry easily).  I refused to let the conversation come to a close with out her telling me that should something ever happen to me, she would take care of my family, putting my young daughter first. Which she reluctantly made.  Reluctantly, because no mother wants her child to be sick.

I made an appointment with my doctor for a routine exam & informed her of my newer ‘problems’. I needed further examination. I waited till the first of the new year for the surgery because I knew this would be BIG and we were getting much better insurance coverage the 1st of the year. Couple days before my “basement surgery” to remove a large polyp in January ’08, I had my mammogram at the same time as my blood tests for surgery. Which was an amazing celestial orchestration in itself.  I didn’t have an appointment, and they were currently out about 4 weeks or better, but the powers that be got me in for that mammogram that very day I was there.  “Something” prompted all the people involved to squeeze me in when normally they wouldn’t do that.  They even told me they don’t usually do that; But something encouraged them to do so.

The next day while healing from my surgery, I received a certified letter from the hospital that my mammogram had issues. (I’m not surprised. That was really the reason I wanted that appointment in the first place.) So back I went for a Needle Core Biopsy of the micro calcifications. One of the worst procedures I’ve ever had (and I’ve had my share of needle pokes and surgeries). I wouldn’t wish it on my enemy (Actually, I hope I don’t have any of those). They just kept telling me, “I know it’s uncomfortable, just hang in there”. Uncomfortable my ass. Later, I’d find out WHY it was so horrible….. For one, it felt like they were sucking all the veins out of my arm, back and chest through their quite large needle. I’m not sure what 10 gauge is, but it sure looked awful big to be sticking in someone that was awake. Later I discovered, it sent me through the roof because, they had traveled with the needle and suction way beyond the area they numbed. This was cold turkey surgery. I didn’t get any whisky or leather to bite on! (I know this because I later had another procedure done elsewhere and didn’t feel much. Because they kept NUMBING THE TISSUE deeper and deeper as far as they needed to get.) So if you or anyone you know needs to have a core biopsy, tell them, it’s YOUR BODY! TELL THEM TO STOP and NUMB IT DEEPER if you are feeling it!

In any event, a few days later, my doctor called me and said “you have nothing to worry about. It’s only PRE cancer. NOT cancer. Make an appointment in a week or two.” She stressed the words PRE and NOT.  The following week I go in and she tells me, make an appointment with a surgeon and she’ll remove the rest of that spot that the biopsy didn’t get. Hmmmm – I request a copy of my pathology report and take it home. I start researching the terminology on it. Especially the second page, of which the secretary never gave to the doctor … and found out… this isn’t PRE cancer. This IS CANCER. And the worst of this kind as far as grade and aggressiveness. After one mess up after another from the secretary / hospital etc… I decided to not mess around and go to the best hospital I could…

…Where, they moved at quite the pace to figure out exactly what is going on. Yes, it is breast cancer. Ductal Carcinoma In Situ = DCIS. High Grade Carcinoma / Comedo type.  what else? It’s all over the lymph nodes too. Had my surgery to remove the DCIS and she took out the lymph nodes under my arm. They don’t look good.

…..

Which brings us to today. I’m still sitting here with a drainage tube. I’m not sure if the pain is getting any less, or if I’m getting used to it.

Oh, and I failed to mention, my husband’s place of business is shutting down. He’s out of a job and we’ll be out of insurance quite soon. The office seems to still all be in tact…. Funny, along comes the good insurance after all these years of crappy insurance… and now we only get 4 months to use it. That seems a bit premeditated. Or is it just me? Yes, COBRA is a great policy, but when you struggle as it is, can barely pay your mortgage (when you are half done paying the loan off) $1,300 a month for family insurance coverage, isn’t even a possibility.

Through all of this, the hospital I’m traveling to has been absolutely fantastic. They are moving fast as possible to get me where I need to be, before the shit hits the fan in our wallets.

And I keep thinking, had I not gone to this other hospital… the one near my home would have taken out the rest of the first tumor. Never seeing everything else going on in my body. I could have passed on by this summer.

Considering my first doctor said “ONLY pre-cancer” and nothing to worry about in the first doctor’s eyes, Perhaps I should look into my “over active cells” comment my initial doctor made about my basement surgery pathology report in January. . Wonder how many pages were missing from that report…..

Research Hospitals and always, ALWAYS, get a second opinion!!!

The original words from my meditation came flooding back.  I franticly searched for my notes.  I found them.  I did in fact receive a warning.  Disease (cancer) two years (2006 warning, diagnosed in 2008), get healthy now…. Is still open to interpretation.  Perhaps this means if I do all that I can, I will still hang around here a while yet.  Sometimes you must rely on God.  Sometimes you have to exercise the free will he gave us.  I’m going to do both.  And what about the unseen celestial forces that orchestrated an appointment for me out of seemingly thin air?  If I had not gotten that appointment, what would have happened?  Perhaps that goes back to “get healthy now”. Had I had to wait, how long would I have put it off?  It most certainly would have been an even worse scenario.